Dead Sexy Miniskirts
by PuccaPanda
Summary: A collection of random FMA drabbles/oneshots, mostly centered around Roy Mustang and his idoitic band of loyal subordinates. :D
1. Spilled Milk

**This is the first chapter of my collection of Roy and Co. themes drabbles. Enjoy! **

**No pairings this time. **

**Warning, there's a bit of mild language.**

**Disclaimer: I live in the US, therefore I cannot be Hiromu Arakawa.**

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Roy looked up from his dreaded paperwork as someone knocked on his door. "Come in." He said as he put his pen down and flexed his cramped hand, grateful for a much needed break.

Edward Elric opened the door and walked into the room. He slumped down into a chair infront of Roy's desk and yawned. "Back."

"So, how did it go?" Roy inquired, looking at the teen over his folded hands. "How much damage did you cause this time?"

Ed mumbled something inaudible before closing his eyes.

"Wha?"

Ed opened an eye to glare at his commanding officer and raised his voice. "Not much. Everythings good, I didn't break anything. Yada yada."

Roy nodded, satisfied. "Good. I expect your full report in writing tomorrow."

"Fine." Ed mumbled, closing his eyes again.

A wide grin spread across Roy's face as he saw an oppertunity. "Hey Ed...want a drink?" He asked, standing up and walking over to the mini-fridge in the corner.

"Sure." Ed responded.

Roy smirked and opened the fridge up, taking out a glass bottle. "Here you go." He said and set it down in front of the teen.

Edward opened one of his eyes and grabbed the bottle, mumbling thanks. He was too tired to notice what exactly Roy had given him.

He took a sip, and set it down, thinking a moment before looking back down at the bottle. "What the—MUSTANG YOU BASTARD!" He yelled, now fully awake. "You gave me fucking milk!"

Roy tried unseccesfully to hide his wide smirk. "Did I?"

Edward jumped up, his automail leg hit the desk, making the milk fall over and spill...right onto the almost finished paperwork "Yes you did, you egotistic bastard! I'm gonna kill you!" He screamed and lunged at Roy, who just stood there, staring wide-eyed at the now soaked pile of paper.

He managed to snap out of it in time to dodge the flying chibi, who slammed head first into his chair.

"Think positively Fullmetal, milk is supposed to make you taller." He chuckled, dodging another one of the blonde teen's blows.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SMALL THAT HE WOULD FALL INTO A GLASS OF MILK AND DROWN AND NO ONE WOULD NOTICE BECAUSE HE WAS SO INSIGNIFINTELY MINISCULE?!"

It was at that moment that Hawkeye pushed open the door. "Sir, is everything okay, I heard yelling and-"She stopped mid-sentance once she spotted the soaking paperwork. Her eyes narrowed angrily and she reached for her gun. Roy winced as he heard the all too familiar click of the saftey being turned off. "Sir, why is your paperwork wet?" She asked him in an icy tone, pointing her gun at his head.

Roy whimpered and covered his head as a bullet narrowly missed him. "It was Ed's fault! He spilled the milk!" He cried, pointing at the teen.

Hawkeye pointed the gun at Ed. "Is that right?"

Roy took advantage of that moment and dived under his desk. He could hear Riza's gun going off several times and Edward's yelling. "Ow! Stop that! It almost got me! It's Mustang's fault! Havoc, Fuery, help me! I'M GONNA DIIIIEEEE!"

Roy snickered, emerging from under the desk. He knew the chibi would find someway to get back at him, but it was totally worth it.

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**So, that was the first chapter. Review and you get cookies! :D**

**I'll try to post the next one in the next couple of days.**

**-Kateh**


	2. Chapter 2

**Wrote this in a notebook when I went to the dentist a couple of weeks ago. Wasn't really sure what I was thinking. Might have been the drugs they gave meh. Hrm...**

**I'm also looking for requests for suggestions of future stories, 'cause I've also had major writer's block the past week or so. (My brain turned all mushy over spring break.)**

**Disclaimer: I wish I owned Roy, but I don't.**

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Riza sat curled up in her favorite armchair in her father's library, intently reading one of his alchemy books.

She didn't notice that Roy had entered the room until he turned on the lamp next to her chair. "You know, you shouldn't read in the dark. It can hurt your eyes."

Riza looked up from the book, only just noticing that the previously sun-filled room was nearly completely dark.

Roy grinned down at her to which Riza smiled shyly back and marked the page in her book before closing it.

"It's nearly seven." Roy told her, taking the book from her hands and placing it on the small table next to her. "Your father wanted to me tell you to," he cleared his throat and adopted a deep, gruff voice, so much like her father's that she couldn't suppress a giggle. "Get your ass down to the dining hall or you won't be allowed in the library for the rest of the week."

Riza gasped and jumped out of the armchair, genuinely scared. "Let's go!" Roy just laughed and followed her as she raced down the hall and stairs.

The stopped just outside of the dining room's giant oak doors, trying to catch their breath. After a minute or two, Roy turned to Riza and asked "Ready?"

Riza nodded and they both pushed open the heavy wood doors to see Riza's father at the end of the table, looking very annoyed.

"I'm sorry father.' Riza said as she sat down on the seat next to him. "I lost track of time."

He didn't reply, but gestured to a maid standing in the corner of the room. She nodded and ran out, coming back a couple of minutes later with plates ladened with food. Roy practically inhaled what was put before him while Riza just picked at hers, not feeling too hungry at the moment.

Roy looked at her and sighed, noticing that she returned to her normal reserved self. He scooped up the last of his peas with his spoon and spoke to Hawkeye-Sensei. "Sensei, may I please be excused?"

He nodded, not looking up from the newspaper he had started reading.

Roy stood and bowed to him before turning and walking out of the room.

Not long after, Riza walked out of the dining room and straight into Roy. "Sorry." She said quickly, looking up at him. It was at that moment that Roy really noticed the unusual auburn-redish color of her eyes.

"N-No it's my fault." Roy replied. He could feel a faint blush rising in his cheeks and quickly said good night before running up to his room.

Roy leaned against his bedroom door and wondered why he had blushed. After thinking for a good ten minutes, he had still not come up with an answer, so he grabbed a book and sat on his bed, trying to distract himself. No matter how hard he tried to think about what he was reading, the thought kept rising to the surface of his mind.

He sighed, gave up trying to read, and threw the book away from him. Roy then lay down on the bed and closed his eyes, thinking of the day's events. He had come to this house nearly three years ago to study with Hawkeye-sensei, and in all that time he had rarely seen Riza truly smile. "She should do it more often." He thought to himself before letting drifting off the sleep.

**

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**

Yesh, I know they were both a bit OC.

Child of the Sky gets lots of cookies for being meh first (and only) reviewer so far. A round of aplause, please.

**Cody: -claps hands-**

**Yay! **

**(I seriously think I've lost my remaining sanity. D:)**

**I promise, my next storeh will be RoyEd and humor-full!**

**Remember, reviewers get cookies!**

**'Till next time,**

**-Kateh**


	3. Dead Smexeh Miniskirts

**I have no idea where this came from. Seriously. I was taking a make-up test in math and BAM! xD**

**I'm sorreh! I know I promised RoyxEd, but I ended up writing this instead...**

**RoyxEd next time. I PINKY SWEAR!**

**Disclaimer: I can barely afford to get my Edo-kun plushie. How in hell could I afford to buy FMA?**

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"Sir," Riza knocked on Roy's bathroom door. "We're going to be late."

A groan came from behind the door. "I'm not coming out!" Riza sighed and loudly cocked her gun.

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" came the frantic voice of Roy. The door creaked open, revealing Roy Mustang wearing…a miniskirt. Yes, boys and girls. The famous flame alchemist, the legendary womanizer, the Ishbal war hero, was wearing a dark navy blue miniskirt.

"C'mon sir." Riza said, pocketing her gun. "We can't be late."

Roy gave another groan. "Why do I have to wear this?"

Riza grinned and pulled him by the sleeve out the front door. "Because, you said when you became Fuehrer you would make all of the women wear miniskirts. You can't ask them to do something that you wouldn't do."

"Fine." Roy growled and lowered his head, not making eye contact with anyone as they walked the four blocks from his house to HQ.

"Good mor-" General Hakuro stopped, in front of the miniskirt wearing colonel. "We knew you'd admit it sooner or later." Hakuro said, giving Roy an encouraging smile. "Don't worry, the higher ups don't care about sexual preference, so you're safe."

Riza covered her mouth with her hand, trying the stifle her laughter as Roy stammered, his face turning red. "W-What?! I am NOT gay!" He yelled and turned, stomping down the hall.

By the time he reached his office, he had already sent two privates to the infirmary for wolf whistling, and one second lieutenant for giving him his number.

Roy opened the door and walked in, sighing in relief. He was finally in his own office. "Morning Fuery, Breida, Havoc." He said, nodding to each of them.

"Heya Chief-WOAH!" Havoc said in surprise, stopping wide-eyed in front of Roy. "Why are you wearing a…oh! So, you're gay, huh? We should have seen the signs. Like that one time when you-"He immediately stopped when he saw that Roy had raised his hand, his fingers in his famous snapping position. "I. AM. NOT. GAY." He said through gritted teeth. "Now, prepare to BURN!"

"Sir,"

"Yes, Havoc?"

"Can I say one thing before I die?"

"Go ahead."

"You look dead sexy in that miniskirt."

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**There ya have it.**

**Lots of love goes out to ArehFullFreak for posting an awesome review! Tell her what she's won, Cody!**

**Cody: A brand new car!**

**Kateh: -.-; And how am I supposed to pay for that?**

**Cody: Oh yeah. Right...**

**Kateh: -sigh-**

**Cody: Okay then. You've won, -drumroll- A basket full of cookies! :D**

**Yay! -aplause-**

**Remember, reviewers get COOKIES! So, review!**

**'Till next time,**

**-Kateh :3**


	4. It's the End of the World as we Know It

**Inspired by Drabble 21 of Maggie's Revenge's "Bits and Pieces"**

**I know it's prolly not what you guys were expecting, but I left my notebook where I write all meh stories at my grandparent's house.**

**Blarg.**

**Pairings: Implied Royed**

**Disclaimer. I own nothing. T.T**

* * *

Roy walked into his best friend's office and sat down in one of the chairs. "Hey Maes." Is something wrong?" Roy asked, seeing the somber expression on his friend's normally happy face. By this time, he would usually be shoving pictures of his daughter in front of Roy.

Maes turned to look out the window as he sighed. "We received word a few minutes ago that an atomic bomb will be dropped on Amestris within the next two to three days. Our country as we know it will be completely destroyed."

He turned when he heard Roy jump out of the chair and walked out of the room. "Where are you going?" Maes called after him.

"Risembool." Roy replied simply, grabbing his coat from the coat rack where he had left it.

Maes had to think for a moment before remembering that Ed was on leave visiting the Rockbells.

When he disappeared out the door, Scieska shook her head and turned to the general. "You shouldn't mess with him like that. You know he's going to go confess his love to Edward.

Maes turned to the window, a smirk playing across his face. "About time."

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**More love goes out to ArehFullFreak for reviewing a second time! This time, we decided to give you something a bit different. **

**Cody: You've won a brand new ca-**

**Kateh: AHEM!**

**Cody: A basket full of MUFFINS! :D**

**'Till next time,**

**-Kateh :3**


	5. Converse

**Sorreh I haven't posted in forever! My dad blocked FF because I was spending too much time on it. xD**

**I'll be able to get on a bunch more now!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA, Hot Topic or Chuck Taylor Converse.**

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"Converse?" Havoc asked, slightly confused.

"Yup." Ed nodded, grinning and looking down at his new shoes. "They're totally in now."

Hawkeye eyed the shoes warily. "You do know that not wearing the standard issue boots is a violation." Edward blinked and looked up at her. "But I never did wear the boots, anyway."

Riza shrugged and turned back to forging Roy's signature on the paperwork that he rewas supposed to be doing.

"They're cool." Fuery breathed, gazing down at the shoes.

Falman stood silently in the background, also looking at the blonde's shoes.

"Where'd you get them?" Roy asked.

"Yeah, I want some!" Breida piped in.

Havoc nodded. "Me too, In a different color though. I'm not much of a black and red guy."

"They have tons of different colors. I got mine at Hot Topic, but you can get them pretty much anywhere now. They're awesome!" Havoc, Fuery, Roy and Breida all nodded in agreement.

--

The next morning, Riza sat in the office alone, drumming her fingers angrily on her desk. Roy, Havoc, Fuery, Breida and Falman all trooped in nearly two hours late. Hawkeye immediately jumped on them. "Why were you all late? Do you know what would have happened if we had a surprise inspection? We could all have been fired!" She shouted, glaring angrily at the five that stood infront of her.

"Relax, Hawkeye." Roy said, shrugging off his coat and hanging it up. "We were shopping." He grinned and pointed at his shoes. Hawkeye looked down, seeing that each of her co-workers were each wearing different colored converses. Roy smiled. "I got red flamey ones. Aren't they cool?"

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**Yes, I realize that they prolly don't have Hot Topic in Amestris.**

**Ohmigosh! Peoples reviewed! You all get RANBOW SPRINKLE SUGAR COOKIES!**

**Cody: Woo! -throws cookies to peoples-**

**ArehFullFreak: haha. Yesh, he does.**

**Akuseru-chan: Woah, I never thought that anyone would be translating it into french. That's so cool!**

**Child of the Sky: Yesh, yay for RoyxEd! x3**

**See ya next time!**

**-Kateh!**


	6. Flamingo Hair

**Hellu!**

**Here is more RoyxEd.**

**Cody: Yaaay!**

**Disclaimer: I actually had a dream a couple of weeks ago that I did own Roy and Ed. It was aweshome...but then I woke up. D;**

**Warning: Royed-ness.**

* * *

Edward Elric trudged down the hall in full-fledged anger. People stared at him as he passed, but everyone had sense enough not to talk to the teen when he was pissed.

He slammed open the door the the office. "Woah, chief, what happened to you?" Havoc asked, leaning back in his chair to get a better look at the young alchemist. " An experiment gone awry?" Ed shot him a glare that sent him cowering behind Fuery. "Where is he?" He asked coldly.

Hawkeye pointed to Roy's private office, not looking up. "Try not to hurt him too badly, Edward. He still has to finish his paperwork."

Roy looked up as the door of his office was slammed open. He immediately burst out laughing. Standing before him was his extremely mad, bright pink haired lover.

"I like your new look." Roy said as he unsuccesfully attempted to stifled his laughs. "You've got a cool flamingo-ish thing going."

Ed growled. "You did this to me! You switched my shampoo with something else!" he snapped.

Roy put on his best most convincing innocent face. "Why Ed! I would never do such a thing." He replied and grinned down at the teen. Ed walked over to him and glared. "You bastard! It'll stay like this forever."

Roy grabbed a brightly colored bottle from one of his desk draws and examined it closely. "Relax, Fullmetal. It says your hair will only stay pink for a few days. It'll be back to normal soon enough."

Ed growled again but was pulled into Roy's lap in one swift motion, before he could say a word against it. Ed started to struggle to get off, but Roy captured the teen's lips with his own.

When they pulled apart, Edward muttered his customary "Bastard." and crossed his arms, but made no move to get off of Roy's lap until Hawkeye came in to make sure the colonel hadn't been killed.

The next thing he knew, Edward was running out of the door while bullets were being fired at and barely missing him.

Once Ed was out in the main office, she pointed her gun at Roy. "Sir, I advise that you finish your paperwork."

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**Foreverforgotten5: Me too! x3 Those would be aweshome!**

**You, yes you. You see that review button? Yeah, press it! You know you wanna. :D**

**'Till next time,**

**-Kateh :3**


	7. Sleepover!

**0.o Huh. **

**Disclaimer:** **I think by now you all realize that I don't own FMA.**

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_Knock Knock! _Roy Mustang sighed as he put his book down. 'Who the hell would be here this late?' _Knock knock!_

He stood up and walked across the room to the front door, opening it to reveal his six subordinates—and one of their brothers—completely soaked and shivering.

Roy crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe, looking them up and down. "Anyone care to tell me why you are all standing on my doorway soaking wet this late at night?" he asked.

"Brother got another alchemist mad." Al replied as he wrung his ponytail of water. "And he busted a couple of pipes, meaning to flood only our room but ended up filling up the whole building with water."

"Yeah." Breida said, flashing Ed a glare. Ed looked down at his feet in obvious guilt.

"And I'm guessing you don't have anywhere else to go."

Riza nodded. "Yes, colonel. You're the only one we know that doesn't live in the dorms." She said.

"So…we were hoping we could sleep here, just until they clean up the dorms." said Havoc

Roy sighed and straightened, moving aside so they could get through the door. Fuery rushed in and ran to the fire. "WARM!"

Havoc sighed and flopped down on the leather couch. Roy hit him upside the head. "Do NOT sit on my couch when your all wet. There are towels in the upstairs closet. Go dry yourself off."

"I'll get them." Riza offered and ran upstairs.

Al flopped down on the floor next to Fuery. "Thanks, Colonel!"

Ed stood leaning against a wall and surveying the room. "Nice house." Roy grunted in reply and sat down on his couch.

After a minute or so of silence, Riza came down stairs carrying six towels. She threw one to each of the others and starting rubbing her own hair dry with her towel.

"I was thinking," Roy said, looking at the others. "Riza could take the guest room, one can take the couch, and the others'll have to sleep on the floor."

"Why does Hawkeye get the guest room?" Havoc asked, a slight whine to his voice.

"Cause I know you guys would fight over it and seeing how Riza has a gun, she'd win."

Breida shrugged. "Fair enough."

"Well, then I call couch!" Ed stated.

"Nuh uh. You're the reason we're in this mess. _I_ call couch!" Breida argued.

"KITTY!" Al yelled, pouncing on the unsuspecting black cat that had walked into the room. "KITTYKITTYKITTYKITTY!"

"I didn't know you had a cat, colonel." Riza said, tilting her head and looking at the cat that Al was hugging to his chest.

"What's his name?" Al asked.

"Sparky." Roy answered.

"Sparky?" Havoc laughed.

Roy's eyes narrowed as he glared at Havoc. "Yes, Sparky. Have a problem with my cat's name?"

"Couldn't have come up with something better?"

"Get out." Roy said, his voice dangerously low. He pointed to the door. "If you're gonna make fun of my cat, then you can go find somewhere else to sleep!"

Riza sighed, deciding to interveine before Roy completely lost it and barbeued Havoc. "Havoc, shut up before you get us all kicked out."

Havoc crossed his arms and sighed. "Fine."

"We should watch a movie." Fuery said.

"Yeah! And popcorn. We need popcorn."

"Mmmm. Popcorn. Roy, could you get us some?"

"Yay! Sleepover!"

"KITTYKITTYKITTY!"

Roy looked from Breida and Ed, who were still fighting about who got the couch, to Al who was squishing his poor cat in a bear hug, and then to Havoc, Fuery and Riza, who where looking up at his expectedly.

He sighed and walked into the kitchen to make a bag of popcorn. This was going to be a **long** night.

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**Thanks to all of you who reviewed. I LOVE YOU!**

**Codeh: Yush, and you all get cookies! -Throws cookies to reviewers.-**

**'Till next time!**

**-Kateh!**


	8. Proposal

**Hehe, as you guys can see I've been watching too much of The Office.**

**Disclaimer: FMA is not nor will it ever be mine.**

* * *

_Ring! Ring!_ Roy set his pen down and flexed his cramped hands, grateful for a break from signing his paperwork. He picked up his phone. "Colonel Roy Mustang here."

He was grinning as he sauntered out of his office and stood in front of Riza's desk, leaning against a file cabinet. "So, I just got a call saying that the dorms will be closed for a couple of days so they can fix the pipes."

Riza looked up from her paperwork. "Oh really? Guess I'm out of place then."

"Yup."

"Oh well. Didn't like that place much anyway."

"Oh really?" Roy inquired. "What're ya gonna do now? Who's would take you in? You get up _way_ too early, you're a klutz, you spill everything, you threaten people, you drink a scary amount of coffee in the morning and you leave the volume on the T.V. _way_ too loud."

Riza smiled and set her pen down. "Yep. Maybe I'll just move in with my boyfriend, 'cause he's a bit of a klutz too."

Roy shrugged carelessly. "Sure." He stood up straight. "Let's do it."

Riza laughed and picked back up her pin and bent back over her paperwork. "Nah. I'm not gonna move in with anyone unless I'm engaged."

Roy mock gasped. "What? Have I not proposed yet?"

"I don't think so." She looked down at her left hand and held it up. "Nope."

"Well, it's coming."

"Oh, right now?"

"No. I'm not going to do it here. That'd be kinda lame."

Havoc looked up from his work, hurt crossed his face. "What? Are you saying we're lame? That hurts chief, hurts."

They both ignored him. "Okay then, so when?" Riza asked.

"I'm not gonna tell you. Hate to break it to you, but that's how it works. Expect it when you least expect it." And with that, Roy walked from the desk to the break room.

Falman, Breida, Fuery and Havoc all looked over at Riza who had resumed her paperwork, a smile crossing her face.

--

Roy yawned as he and Riza left the building and started walking down the street. "Where do you want to go for dinner?" Roy asked her casually.

"I don't know." She replied and shifted her bag on her arm. "I'm kind of tired of our usual places. Oh! You know what, that one—"

She was cut off by Roy bending down on one knee in front of her. "Riza," he spoke in a serious tone.

She gasped and her hand flew to her mouth in surprise.

"Can you wait for me one sec so I can tie my shoe?" He said, smirking up at her. Riza shook her head, turned and continued walking. "I hate you."

Roy jumped up and ran to her, putting his arm around her shoulders and kissing the top of her head. "I love ya too."

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**You guys thought he was gonna do it, huh? Bwaha! My work here is done.**

**To all those that reviewed, I LOVE YOU!! :3**

**Codeh: -hands out baskets of cookies to everyone-**

**Woo!**

**-Kateh!**


	9. The Miniskirt Act

**Announcement! Seeing as all of the chapters so far, and all of the chapters that I have planned, happen to be mostly about Roy and his loyal subordinates, I am making most of the storehs anout them. That means I'm gonna change the name.**

**Laura, Cobin, Josh and Cody-You are all in here!**

**Codeh: Feel special! :D**

**Disclaimer: If it's fanfiction, then you can all safely assume that I in fact do NOT own FMA.**

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"And now, we take you to reporter Laura Piza, who is at Central Headquarters covering the newly elected Fuhrer Mustang's press conference. Laura,"

"Thanks Cobin." A small woman dressed in pink stood in front of Central's military headquarters, her long hair whipping around behind her.

"As you can see, the weather is starting to pick up but it hasn't stop hundreds of people gathering here to see the new Fuhrer's first press conference."

The camera panned across the large amount of people standing in front of the podium in front of the building.

"Oh, it looks like its about to start!"

A raven-haired man in a military uniform stepped up to the podium with a blond haired woman standing just behind him.

"Let's see if we can get a better spot. C'mon Josh." Laura told her cameraman and started pushing people aside, trying to get as close as she could to the podium.

The Fuhrer raised his hand for silence and the chatter quieted. He cleared his throat and lowered his hand.

"Err, hello." He said, running his hand through his hair nervously. "I'm Roy Mustang….well I guess you know that." He cleared his throat again. "Thank you for all of your support. As most of you know, I've been reaching for this position for most of my life, and I thank you all for helping me achieve my dream." He looked at the woman behind him as if he did not know what to say. She nodded to him and he turned back around. A hand shot up from the crowd and Fuhrer Mustang pointed to it. "Yes?"

"Cody Fennech, Channel Eight News. What will your first act as Fuhrer be?"

Roy seemed to lose his nervousness and flashed his famous grin that caused the women in the crowd to sigh. "Well, I plan on changing military uniforms. All female officers will be required to wear..."

He paused dramatically and all of the military personnel that were present groaned, knowing full well what was coming next. "Miniskirts!"

Cameras flashed and more hands shot up as the crowd's murmurs grew louder. "Next question."

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**Careful not to confuse Codeh with Cody! Codeh is my imaginary friend/sub-conscience (Did I spell that right?) while Cody is a real person. :D**

**Well, that's it for today. **

**And r****emember, reviews get you sugary goodness!**

**-Kateh!**


	10. Math Isn't All Bad

Blarg. Sorreh I haven't posted in a while. I've been super busy with summer school.

Disclaimer: I own a computer. DON'T TAKE IT AWAY FROM MEH!! ;.;

Warning: RoyEd-ness.

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"What?!" Yelled Ed as he read the piece of paper Roy held in front of him. "All military personnel have to have a high school education? Are you serious?"

Roy sighed and put the paper down on his desk. "Yup." He sat down, leaning his head on his arm

. Ed groaned and slumped into a chair. "But…I haven't gone to school since mom died. Does that mean I can't work for the military anymore?" Ed asked anxiously, leaning forward in his chair. "I can't be a state alchemist?"

Roy shook his head. "Relax, Edward. The Fuhrer spoke to me this morning. He's willing to make an exception for you because of your…special circumstances. He said he's satisfied with your knowledge of all standard academic subjects. You know, science, history, english, all of them...except math, which frankly, you suck at. He said you have to study and take some sort of test."

Ed leaned forward in his chair. "What?" He protested. "I can do math."

Roy raised and eyebrow. "Okay, Ed. What's the square root of 12?" He scoffed.

Ed's face reddened slightly and he crossed his arms, leaning back in his chair. "That's a stupid question. I know math." He replied.

Roy shook his head. "Well, the Fuhrer doesn't think so, and what he says goes. He's already assigned me to be your tutor." Roy said with a slight roll of his eyes.

Ed sighed and uncrossed his arms. "I guess I have no choice. Fine."

Roy smiled and took out a piece of paper and pencil from a desk drawer. "Okay then. Let's get started."

--

Nearly three hours later, Ed slammed down his pencil. "No more!" He yelled.

"I hate this. My hands are cramping up. And who needs to know about stupid quadrilaterals anyway? When the hell will I need to find the fucking angle of a fucking square? Yeah, that's right. Never!"

Roy sighed. "Alright, Edward. Finish that problem and we'll call it a day."

"No." Ed replied defiantly. "I said I'm not doing anymore."

"Finish it or you're sleeping on the couch tonight." Ed scowled, but did as he was told and finished the problem.

Roy grinned and leaned over his desk to plant a chaste kiss on Ed's lips. "There, that wasn't so hard was it?"

Ed glared at his lover. "Bastard. I hate you."

Roy chuckled and leaned over to kiss him again. "I love you too, Ed."

I cooked up this one in math.

So, I've become hooked on this anime called Lucky Star. It's actually pretty cool and references The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya alot, which is one of my favorite shows! I tried learning the dance last week and failed miserably. xD It was fun, though. I was thinking of not being Alphonse for Megacon next year and being Konata instead, but I can't do that to Al!

_A-a-nyway_, thanks to the peoples who reviewed!

Codeh: YESH! WE LOVE YOU! D

You get cookies!

'Till next time,

-Kateh! :3


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